Blah. Sorry ladies and gents. I have been slackin' in more ways than one. I really do enjoy writing in this blog and like re-reading what I write because it shows me that I can really keep up with it.
Some of my moments of the last few days have involved me consciously making decisions about my life, not just making moments. Example:
I am not the greatest when it comes to fashion and I am okay with that. Really. But on Friday or Thursday (can't remember. It's been a while), I decided to pick out articles of clothing that 1) tenía ganas para llevar and 2) was appropriate (considering weather and my duties of the day, etc). It was like dressing up a doll and making her look pretty. For me, looking presentable isn't on my list of top priorities, but I realized that when looking good can affect the way I feel. I feel good about myself 98% of the time (to be honest), but when I dress well, it's like "Whoa, look out world!"
This is not a blog about superficiality, nor am I saying that to feel good you've got to look good. I'm just saying that, for me, it adds to my jolliness!
So, basically what I'm saying is that for way too long in my life, I've just done things because that's the way it needs to be or that's the way someone wants it. But now, I truly would like to live in a way that honestly makes me happy. I smile like crazy when I know that I'm wearing my favorite shirt with my favorite scarf and singing to myself with my iPod on. Why? Because it makes me happy. I don't want to live life just trying to get to the next stage. Man, enjoying every aspect of my life is what it's about and letting people enjoy theirs.
And I know that this just doesn't apply to the simple things in life, like what to wear, but to the bigger things, like who your friends are and what kind of relationships you have. I am becoming more of a woman when I express myself to the people I love. I am getting past the stage of "Oh. What will they think of me?" or "Maybe I shouldn't say this. How will they take this? I don't want to sound too...". I definitely respect my loved ones enough to watch my words as to not purposely cause damage, but I am working on expressing my love for these people. (That was actually kind of weird to say. I rarely use that word. Just never grew up with it.) It's not all mushy stuff, but it's a simple: "Just wanted to see how things are 'cause I miss you." 3 years ago, you wouldn't have ever caught me saying something like this. Just wasn't something I wanted to share, but now, I realize that I am a human being with feelings and if people don't know what those are or don't want to know, then psh.
Sorry if this got way deeper than necessary. I just want to acknowledge some milestones in my life. Next step: saying some of that stuff aloud....in Spanish? Hm? We'll see.
So, to all my friends out there, thanks for still being my friend. :) 'Preciate it!
Aight, I'm out. Much love, peace and elbow grease,
Ife 'Quipayan' S.
P.S. I actually squirm sometimes re-reading my mushy blogs...blah. jaja. That's okay.
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