Today I'm saying some prayers that should have been said long ago, but since God knows it, he's answered (YES, NO, or WAIT). I may not always like these answers or understand why he chose it, but deep in the depth of my heart I truly want to trust God. As I sit here in my pieza, my heart is crying out to the God that made me and knows me like a BFF. He knows. He knows that I am worried about the future and that I really need to find a place to live next semester. He knows that I worry about my future mate because society is saying that dating is like shopping, gotta try a few out before you find the perfect fit, but I'm not trying to go through heartache just to find the right one. But God also knows that I'm not ready for someone else in my life. Why?
Because I'm one of those addictive people. Once I get into something, I'm into it. Especially people. Once I find someone I remotely like, the rest of my week better be clear 'cause I'll probably spend at last a few hours a day thinking about that person. This isn't a horrible thing, it's that I can't handle that at this moment in time. I'm schooling, learning and growing. I need to do some growing (and I'm sure my future mate probably does too) before I get into anyone. :sigh: The facts...they make me mellow sometimes, but they are as they are.
So I'm praying that my head doesn't come in the way of what my heart truly desires: to be close to the God who loves me and has the most ballin' plans for my life. When I say ballin' I mean ballin'. Look at me. I'm in Chile with a fantastic family and am not paying for my college experience nor have I been a summer without work (didn't always love the job, but it's work). I have a house to go back to and at least one friend who could almost be my sister. God doesn't fail. This, my friend, is the truth and the source of my prayer.
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